


How are any of us still alive?

by GenderfluidFlower



Category: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs
Genre: Anxiety, Cutting, Depression, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenderfluidFlower/pseuds/GenderfluidFlower
Summary: I simply talk a lot of shit but it's the MPHFPC characters. It is indeed a groupchat book because I hate writing full out stories.
Relationships: Bronwyn Bruntley/Original Character(s), Emma Bloom/Jacob Portman, Enoch O'Connor/Horace Somnusson, Hugh Apiston/Fiona Frauenfeld/Millard Nullings, Ricky Pickering/Original Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. Furries

**Author's Note:**

> UwU

**Enoch** added **Horace, Jacob, Emma, Millard, Hugh, Bronwyn,** and **Fiona** to the group chat.

**Enoch** renamed the chat UwU UwO

**Jacob:** What the fuck? Are you furry?

**Enoch:** Of owo couwse nyot jacob

**Emma:** What the fuck is a furry?

**Millard:** Nothing you should worry about. It's really….. weird.

**Hugh:** To be honest that sounds even more intriguing now.

**Fiona:** And what does "UwU and UwO" have to do with being a furry?

**Horace:** It's nyothing weawwy so nyo nyeed uwu to wowwy

**Enoch:** Twue owo! twue owo!

**Bronwyn:** Are you two okay???

**Jacob:** Probs not tbu. Anyways a furry is basically fans of anthropomorphic animals. And they can be attracted to them.

**Millard:** It's basically a fictional modern way of bestiality kind of.

**Emma:** That's disgusting.

**Horace:** It is but it's fun uwu to tawk wike dis

**Enoch:** Vewy twue owo! twue indeed owo!

**Fiona:** Wait…. I want to try.

**Millard:** Please no.

**Jacob:** It's your vocabulary at stake.

**Fiona:** Hewwo uwu? am i doing dis wight uwu?

**Hugh:** Fiona, why?

**Enoch:** One of owo us owo! one of owo us owo!

**Horace:** Wewcome uwu to fuwwy wand owo!

**Emma:** You guys are so weird.

**Jacob:** It's weird but there is much more weird stuff with furries. For example, fursuits and NSFW arts.

**Enoch:** Wook it's just fur fun bitch. Wet us have ouw fun.

**Fiona:** Yeah owo! it's just fun owo!

**Bronwyn:** It is understandable but it's just creepy.

**Horace:** Cweepy is enyoch's middwe nyame so.

**Millard:** I'm getting a headache. I'm leaving. 

**Millard** has gone offline

**Jacob:** I think we all should.

**Enoch:** Whatevet pussies owo!


	2. Idk I'm tired

**Jacob** is online

**Jacob:** GuYs gUyS!!!!!! 

**Jacob:** My British/Irish/Russian friend just invited me to her house and oh my god-

**Jacob:** SHE HAS A SHREK SHRINE!!!!!

**Fiona** is online

**Fiona:** Who's Shrek?

**Jacob:** Omg I've never shown you guys Shrek. I've failed at life-

**Enoch** is online

**Enoch:** You've always failed.

**Jacob:** I'm ignoring that because I'm more focused on the shrine

**Jacob:** Basically Shrek is a movie starring an ogre named Shrek. It's a romance and humor movie. He's a meme.

**Hugh** is online

**Hugh:** Is that the green dude who is bestfriends with a donkey who is banging a dragon?

**Enoch:** What the fuck-

**Jacob:** Yes it is and my friends are worshiping him in their apartment-

**Jacob:** She told me to just ignore it and now we are in her room.

**Emma** is online

**Emma:** Her?

**Jacob:** Don't worry she is currently lovestruck over someone else

**Emma:** Better be

**Jacob:** OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE OWNS AN ANIME BODY PILLOW!!!!!!

**Hugh:** Anime?

**Fiona:** What's that?

**Enoch:** It's a japanese animation that includes a lot of japanese stereotypes and truths.

**Emma:** How do you know what Anime is?

**Enoch:** It's not important. What anime is the body pillow based on?

**Jacob:** Lemme ask

**Jacob:** She said Ouran Highschool Host Club.

**Enoch:** Hm, okay. That one is okay I guess.

**Fiona:** Isn't a Host Club like a Whore House?

**Hugh:** Pfft-

**Enoch:** Kind of but more teen friendly kind of. Also it is usually guys who entertain women.

**Jacob:** It bothers me that you know so much about this stuff

**Enoch:** Look, I have a life too. I have friends outside of you pieces of shit. 

**Emma:** Wow Enoch! You have friends?

**Enoch:** Fuck you Emma, I'm heading out.

**Enoch** has gone offline

**Jacob:** He's a fucking weeb-

**Fiona:** I'm going to guess that's someone who likes Anime?

**Jacob:** Yep.

**Hugh:** But Enoch has a life? Is this the end?

**Emma:** I think it is. He has friends, a life, and leaves the house!

**Fiona:** Raccoon man finally get out there 🙏

**Jacob:** Maybe he'll get a girlfriend.

**Emma:** Pfft yeah right.

**Hugh:** He is just taking baby steps into life you can't rush an emo.

**Fiona:** He's already growing up too fast.

**Jacob:** Too bad his height is keeping up.

**Enoch** is online

**Enoch:** 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕


	3. Idk where I am going with this

**-Bronwyn** is online-

**Bronwyn:** When did Enoch get a lip piercing?

**-Millard** is online-

**Millard:** He doesn't have a lip piercing.

**-Jacob** is online-

**Jacob:** He is literally showing it off to Horace right now. Are you sure?

**Millard:** Well I apologize that I'm getting an education!

**Bronwyn:** Millard, it's the middle of July.

**Millard:** I do know that, but it doesn't matter at the moment. Why did Enoch get a lip piercing? Does Miss Peregrine know?

**-Fiona** is online-

**Fiona:** She doesn't know yet. Enoch doesn't want to tell her until she meets his friend. And he said his girlfriend convinced him to get a lip piercing while they were hanging out. She apparently dyes hair and does piercings for people.

**Jacob:** Wow he actually has a girlfriend? Wow, someone actually likes him?

**Millard:** It is very surprising. Should we tell Miss Peregrine?

**Bronwyn:** Guys that is just mean. Maybe we should meet her first and then we can decide?

**Fiona:** I agree with Bronwyn. If we tell Miss Peregrine without seeing if this girl is a good influence or not Enoch might lose his only purpose in life.

**Millard:** Other than sarcasm. And agreed. Jacob?

**Jacob:** Sure, but if she acts like him I'm going to Miss Peregrine. I can deal with one mini Bakugo not anymore. 

**Bronwyn:** Bakugo?

**Jacob:** Anime thing. Basically an angry boy.

**Fiona:** Sounds like Enoch to be honest.

**Jacob:** Kind of? But short and more sarcastic.

**Millard:** Should we talk to Enoch and the girl tomorrow?

**Bronwyn:** Yeah, so we can think of appropriate questions.

**Jacob:** Does this mean I can't just ask why for several hours?

**Fiona:** Yes. Be serious. 

**Jacob:** Fine.

**Author's Note:**

> OwO


End file.
